When we are good at something, we can easily spot others’ weaknesses in that area. For example, if we are good at language, our attention automatically zooms to others’ grammatical shortcomings.

Still, when people have an ability deficiency – they are tone-deaf – we learn to live with it. But when they have a behavioral deficiency – they are forgetful, untidy or unpunctual – we often find that intolerable. We feel that they could easily improve, if they would just try.

However, we are seeing their situation from our perspective, not theirs. To be fair to them, we can contemplate that just as we have our conditionings that we struggle with, so too do they have their particular conditionings that they struggle with.

Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita states that aversion to faultfinding characterizes the godly (16.02), whereas anger, arrogance and harshness characterize the ungodly (16.04). If we harp on others’ faults, we act in an ungodly way. Moreover, we irritate, even alienate them; and we inflate our ego. As our faultfinding aggravates our ungodliness, our inability to tolerate their weakness becomes our weakness.

To overcome this weakness, we need spiritual understanding. We all are souls on a multi-life journey of spiritual evolution. During our life-journey, we are meant to help each other grow towards Krishna, whose parts we are eternally.

Rather than obsessing over others’ deficiencies, we can focus on how our relationship can aid their spiritual evolution and our spiritual evolution. Seeing them as parts of Krishna meant to be served, if we learn to accept them as they are, they feel freed to redirect their energy from justifying themselves to rectifying themselves. Even if they don’t rectify themselves, still we please Krishna by our service attitude. And he helps us improve ourselves, enabling us to come closer to him and fulfill our life’s ultimate purpose.